There have been several times over the past year and a half as a stay-at-home mom when my mentality has slipped into "survival mode." This usually accompanies big changes, transitions, and exhaustion. During these periods, my husband and I find ourselves constantly eating out, clutter piles up, chores are pushed off to the last possible minute, and my only form of "self-care" becomes sleeping. The root issue when I enter survival mode is that I am not properly managing my time and energy during these transitional phases.
I recently struggled to find an effective rhythm for myself when I was newly pregnant with baby number two. I was nauseous, extra tired, and felt like the daily flow I had established was no longer working for me. We had also been traveling and out of our home quite a bit during this time. However, after we settled back in, my husband and I worked together to get things more manageable for me. Here are three systems that have helped keep me out of survival mode:
1. Weekly Grocery Shopping and Meal Planning: Every weekend, my husband goes grocery shopping for us. This restocks our food supply so that I don’t need to do it during the week. We also establish a loose menu for the week, so I don’t have to look in the fridge and conjure up meals on the spot. I’m not in a stage of life where I need to write down the meal plan each day. We typically cook our meat in a sous-vide, which takes a couple of hours, so I appreciate the freedom to decide each day if I’m going to be home to get that going or if I’ll be out. Entering the week knowing our meal options and what needs to be done for preparation day-to-day brings me peace of mind.
2. Deep Cleaning and Toy Rotation: The second step that helped me get out of survival mode was spending two weekends in a row deep cleaning and resetting our home. I also reorganized all of our daughter’s toys and set up two toy and book rotation spots—one in the living room and one in her bedroom. This cleared out so much clutter, made our home feel calmer, and made it easier to maintain throughout the week. It also encouraged our daughter, Sophia, to start helping with clean-up more!
3. Weekly Calendar and Daily Plan of Action: Lastly, a weekly calendar on the fridge and a daily plan of action helps me take control of my days. Chores, errands, social outings, appointments, and shopping lists all go on this calendar. This allows me to see when and how everything will get done throughout the week. The calendar is the base for my daily plan of action. I also feel less overwhelmed when I have a clear idea of what I’ll be doing with my toddler throughout the day. She’s a go-go-go girl, so I need to ensure we stay busy with a mixture of chores, play, social outings, or errands.
A lack of energy, rhythm, and plans of action tends to leave me feeling overwhelmed and like I’m constantly running behind. I’m thankful for these simple systems that help me feel like I’m thriving, not just surviving. Weekly menu planning, simple daily tidying up, and a daily planner have allowed me to take back control of my days and be a more present mother for our daughter.
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